Smoker, Gamer, Lover
by Chocolate-SugarCube
Summary: We're all gonna die someday. This is my day. Mattcentric-ish Yaoi, MelloXMatt, Character Death, one-shot maybe write more if persuaded


Well, Hello again. After a vayyy long time. I've moved onto Death Note! But i'll finish my other ones soon alright? God this thing is HORRIBLE to me! I had to redo most of this cause fanfiction. horror (sankuu Cliscia) killed it.

This is for my Matt (you know who you are) for inspiring me, being bitchy, and then making me want to finish it.

Beta'd by T-R-Us who I don't know what I'd do without

**One Bullet**

"You see, Matty, it's like this." He said, taking a bite from the chocolate bar he was holding. "We're all gonna die."

I smiled to him, knowing that. "And they call you a genius?"

He reached out a hand and hit me hard. "I wasn't finished. I mean, it's like a book. I already know what's happening in mine and yours. How it's gonna end."

I raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly. Where exactly was he going with this? "Oh?"

"Yeah. We're gonna fail, Matt. Near's gonna win, and Kira's going to die. But we're always gonna go down with him. No matter how it goes."

I sighed. Not this again. "Mello, life isn't a book. Well, not until it's done. We're still writing our book"  
He looked at me and shook his head. "We're still gonna die."

"Yeah, but not yet. C'mon, Mells, we have our lives still."

He continued frowning at me like I was a mental patient. "Whatever we do, Kira's still gonna kill us." He stood up, turning away. "You could leave, you know. If I'm trouble to you."

I stood up and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind. "Mello, you're always trouble."

He turned around in my arms, to look at me "Then why don't you leave?"

No really, he's supposed to be a genius? "God, you're stupid." I could sense being slapped, before I actually felt it. "Okay, okayyy. Just thought you should know. Mello, I love you."

"You don't."

I knew he'd never believe me, never did.

**Two Bullets**

"Mello, Near, Matt, I am sure that very soon, I will die."

With that, Mello jumped up from where he was sitting beside me on the sofa. "What? That's stupid!"

Near continued finishing his puzzle, but I looked up at them both, curious. We all knew it was true. Even Mello, he just didn't want to believe it. "Mello, I apologize very much so, but very soon, Kira will kill me."

Near looked up at L blankly. "Have you chosen yet?"

The room went silent, and I could feel the air grow tense.

"No, not yet." L replied finally, gently taking the strawberry off a slice of iced cake and eating it slowly.

"So, when do you think you're gonna kick it?" I asked him, trying to lighten the impossibly heavy atmosphere.

"I'd say... sometime in the next two weeks perhaps" He said. "Let me share with you, something I've learned.." (If you cut out that first ⌠He said, as I've done for you, and leave that as a single line of dialogue, it doesn't sound so awkward when the phrase is repeated immediately after.) He said, between forkfuls of cake. "It seems to me that I have lived much too long, and nothing seems to amuse me much anymore."

**Three Bullets.**

All these ridicuously late nights spent sitting beside Mello, staring at screens of multiple laptops for hours on end before even glancing at him. Though, after that first glance, it was only about fifteen minutes, usually less, until I couldn't hold back anymore, claiming his delicious lips with mine and running my hands over his perfect body. Until I had him over me, and then, eventually, beside me, asleep finally. Whenever I glanced at him, I noticed how his perfectly applied eyeliner was always smudged on these nights, from the continual rubbing of his eyes. These were the only times he confined himself to the screens, and he wasn't used to it at all.

**Four Bullets**

Mello was in a shop when I bumped into a girl I hadn't seen for a while and who knew us both quite well. After a while of random talking about anything that we felt like, we began talking about Mello.

"So, are you back with Mello now?" She asked. Practically everyone knew about what went on between us, and it didn't change anything. If anything, it made Mello more dangerous at times. Near was wrong, lack of emotion wasn't the way to be stronger. Mello and I made each other stronger every time we did stuff together. From the arguments that tore us apart for days, to the passion-filled nights that seemed to go on forever.

"No, not yet."

She gave me a strange look. "But he's all you ever talk about."

I considered that for a moment before answering. "I don't have much." That was entirely true.

Five Bullets.

"L's dead, Matt! It doesn't matter anymore!" I held him tightly against myself, whether to comfort him, protect him, or protect myself, I didn't know. "He won, Matt."

Who? Kira? Near? "Who?"

He looked at me, eyes like daggers piercing my skin. "What?"

I moved one hand to brush his golden halo of hair away from his tear stained face, eyeliner streaked down in tear-marks. "Who won, Mells?" I think he would have killed me just then, if the strenth hadn▓t already been taken out of him by hours of sobbing to himself, and attacking random objects, including me.

"Everyone. They all won. He's dead, Matt! L's dead!"

I gently took him into my arms, carrying him bridal style. Sure, he'd kill me if he was at full strength, but at a moment of weakness, I knew he needed comfort. Cradling him in my arms for a few moments longer than necessary, before setting him on my bed. I could still hear him whispering, as if it were a mantra, "He's dead.."

**Six Bullets**

Every time we were apart, something bad happened, it really did. Look at how our lives had started, without each other. Mello had been abused and left to die, and me, well.  
I can't remember what happened to me, but I ended up in an orphanage right?

There was that time I went away for a week. He ended up dating Near. Near! If that's not desperate, I don't know what is. And then when he left me, I started smoking. He got hopelessly lost trying to find a chocolate store. I started self-abusing.

**Seven Bullets**

Fuck it. "You're not the only one that hurts, Mello! You're not the only one who knows what pain really is." Again.

"Yeah, Matt, cause you're life's been filled with hurt."

I don't even know how it started. "You make me hurt!" If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under by now.

"I never hurt you, Matt, at least, not much."

I glared back at him. "I wish I could get away from you, Mello. Why don't you just leave?"

"Maybe I will!"

Silence.

"Dont leave me┘" Why the fuck did I have to say that? Of all the things?

"Matt, I can get a lot worse then I am now."

I know, I knew that ages ago. "Then why don't you? We won't even remember this in an hour, much less care about anything we say now."

**Eight Bullets.**

Mello always ran, he always moved. Mello was never still. Mello never stopped. Mello was the living embodiment of energy. At least, he was while L was alive. After that, he changed. Mello was a different Mello. He was no longer constantly moving. He was stiller, not as impulsive, not as eager to do whatever he felt like.

I knew he had loved L.

Maybe something went on between them? Well, whatever, even if it did it doesn't matter now. At least now he's mine. That's about all I can say.

**Nine Bullets.**

When I got home, the last thing I expected was to find a sulky looking blonde on my doorstep. It'd been a long day, working and all that. Did I even know this chick?

Lighting a cigarette, I walked up the steps to the front door and stopped a few steps away from the blonde. Now I was sure I'd seen her before. But where?

She was looking right at me, where had I seen those azure eyes before? It was when she stood up that I realised. "M-Mello?" I said (asked) uncertainly. Now that had been a shock. Not only were they not female, but I actually knew who it was. I think.

They looked at me hard for a moment. "Matt."

Then I knew. "Mello... I-" I started, before his lips crashed against mine. Mello. Mello. Mello.

The taste of chocolate and of pure Mello was intoxicating, and I needed more. I quickly unlocked the door and he was inside before I was. Then he was undressing me. Then we were in my room... Then... Oh god... then he was inside of me. Then he was in my arms, and then he was asleep.

**Ten Bullets.**

"Hurry uuup!" Mello whined at me,

"Alright... Let me finish this level." I said, staring at the screen of the TV, fiddling mentally with the controller. "C'mon, block, no wait - hit, hit, jump!" I whispered to myself.

Mello's boot collided with my thigh, and I'm sure it wasn't accidental. "Hurry up!"

I threw the controller near the TV when the level finished, and switched it off via remote. "Alright, I'm coming!" I grabbed my coat, then his, as it was winter.

"Other children will be out soon! I wanna be in the snow first!"

It was the first proper snow we'd had in ages, so me and Mel were going out in it, at half 4 in the morning. Only for him. Only for my Mello.

**Eleven Bullets.**

"Matt!" I looked sleepily at the blond bombshell, that word working well with his explosive nature, standing over me.

"What?" I moaned tiredly.

"I'm bored."

I frowning, blinking at the clock, everything looking strange without the gold lenses that framed my world. "It's 2:30 in the morning, Mel, I'm sleeping." A pillow hit me hard in the head, or at least, I think it was my head. I'm not too sure.

"Yeah, well, I'm bored."

"Yeah, well, I'm sleeping." I expected him to hit me, but he pressed against me instead.

"Maaatt..." He purred. I attempted to continue sleeping, but with Mello's ass grinding against me, it was hard to even pretend I was sleeping. "C'mon Matty... You know you want me..." His voice was lustful and very sexy, obviously intended to be so.

"Mels, I love you and I want you, but I'm tired."

He glared at me, turning to face me, and grinding again. "Matt, I can feel you want it..." Again, that sexy voice.

"In the morning, we can do it as much as you want, but now I'm tired." I turned away from him. I felt him get up, heard him go into the bathroom, and heard the hushed moans that started about ten minutes after he'd left.

**Twelve Bullets.**

Bath times were one of the only times that were peaceful. Usually. Unless Mello decided to join him in the bath or shower. Though this time he hadn't. We'd just got back from what Mello called work. The ash stains on my fingers from the cigarettes were hard to get off, the blood stains from the job we'd just done were easier. I picked up a hand-held game that was supposedly water safe, and switched it on, selecting a game and begining to play it. It was always different playing these when Mello wasn't being bitchy in the background.

**Thirteen Bullets.**

Mello loved parks. From small children's parks with baby slides and swings and things like that, to the ones that were just loads of grass.

"I'm gonna play football with the guys over there, alright?"

I looked up from my spot under the tree that had our stuff beside it. "Yeah, whatever." Personally, kicking a ball around for ages wasn't my thing, but Mello loved it. He walked off to join the other guys, and was soon playing a heated game, with a lot of yelling and stuff.

After about two hours of playing, he returned to me, and we went over to the other part of the park, where the swings were. Perching on the edge of one and kicking his feet against the ground, he started the swing moving. I didn't bother moving the swing, just sitting on it was fine for me. Watching Mello tip his head back, the wind catching his hair and floating it around him.

Fourteen Bullets.

Mello's emotions were always out of check, completely unlike L and Near. Both were perfectly composed, emotion showing only when they wanted, and exactly how they wanted it.

If anything, Mello's emotions were superfluous. When he was happy, the world was perfect. When he was sad, the world was collapsing. When he was angry, the world was exploding.

There was always too much emotion, and I was usually the one that things happened to when Mello was emotional. Sometimes it hurt, even when Mello was happy. Sometimes it was fun, even when Mello was angry.

**Fifteen Bullets.**

Music always played wherever we were staying. From heavy metal things that Mello enjoyed, to whatever random songs I liked, to radio love songs that came on when there was only a hotel radio to listen to. Even the songs from random games, sometimes the electro ones that repeated over and over, to actual songs that just happened to be sound tracks were ever present. Sometimes the music was good, sometimes it wasn't.

Mello liked most music, though, and he was like a nintendo DS that charged on it.

Between us, we've had about six different portable music players, iPhones, iPods, MP3 players, even a mini CD player. Most of the music we had was illegally downloaded, but whose wasn't these days?

Sixteen Bullets.

"Matt, this might be the last time we'll ever be with each other..." Mello was seated on a motorbike near the car that was, for tonight, my partner in crime.

I leaned back against the red machine. It was a pretty good car, made for hiding among other cars on a busy highway, but built for speed. "Yeah... But even if I die Mel, you've still gotta keep trying to find Kira without me, right?"

He nodded, though I knew he didn't like the idea of going on without me anymore than I liked the idea of going on without him.

I strolled casually (over) to the motorbike, as if we weren't probably going to be dead within the next few hours. I leaned down and kissed him softly. Enjoying, probably for the last time, the taste of chocolate in his mouth. I'd always thought I would die of cancer or something, but oh well. "Good luck, Miheal..." I said softly into his ear.

"You too, Mail," He replied.

Somehow using our proper names made it real, no replays, this is it. And I had to hold back tears. The thought of never seeing my blonde angel again, it was almost too much to bear.

His head leaned into my chest, and I could feel him shaking. I'd have liked to tell him that we didn't have to do this, that we could go back, plan again and do something else, but I knew we couldn't. This was it. I kissed him again, pressing my tongue into his mouth once more. "I love you, Miheal," I whispered again.

I stepped away from him, and he pulled the motorcycle helemt over his head. As I walked back to the car, I saw him mouth to me. "I love you, Mail."

**Seventeen Bullets.**

The sound of bullets being fired, scraping against metal, hitting something, echoed round the cross junction, and the surrounding streets. Another time this would be illegal but, with Kira, nothing was illegal anymore. The man didn't yell as they rained down on him. He just stepped back, again and again, as each impact hit.

Eventually, as the bullets stopped, he fell backwards. The cigarette that had been between his lips slipping. Somewhere, in a truck heading for a church near Nagano, a leather-clad blond was watching the scene from a small television.

"Matt... I got you killed... Sorry." Then he turned off the device, and tried to hold back the tears the threatened to spill. Clenching in the emotion threatening to pour out.


End file.
